i love to daydream, roughly 3-5 years from now. its fun because its so different from now, but difficult because things are so uncertain. i still have no idea what direction my life is headed. i’m not one of those people with a huge passion for something in particular, i’m not that kid in 8th grade that knows that they’re going to be a brain surgeon. people like that make me so jealous. my first year of university was sort of a let down, i didn’t feel like it lived up to all the hype. hoping this year will be more successful. i feel like i have to go out and get drunk to break the ice, i’m so poor at that.
of all my different thoughts of the future, the one thing they all have in common is that i’ll be someplace else. i’m sorta thinking some tiny town with a decent house with roommates or an apartment. i’ll probably stay here for a few years, no one wants to hire someone without experience. i like to browse job postings just to see what i’m getting into haha. it’s scary b/c i haven’t learned anything that would be required for these jobs, but it makes me excited. my mother only cares about how much money i’ll make. i know i’ll never be wealthy. she doesn’t think i’ll make it. i certainly don’t ooze confidence, but i want to try. her first job after post secondary was making 11k/year, so who is she to lecture me about money. summer is coming to an end and feel really unsure about next year. i wish i just knew what i wanted.