I seldom believe this. How can you look at someone and think absolutely nothing? When you think things about people it doesn’t have to be bad, you can see someone and think very good things. Not gonna lie, I without a doubt, judge people.
Just look at someone, they should be giving off so much about themselves. It’s not wrong for you to pick up on that. This is by no means an accurate science but some things should be easy enough to see. They care about their appearance. Have to be the centre of attention. Not a care in the world. They’re defensive. Confident. Shy.
I can completely feel like I know someone without every saying a word to them. This accounts for a large portion of my university experience. Being as shy and quiet as I am, I much prefer to observe someone rather than going up and starting a conversation. I don’t know them, wouldn’t that just be weird? I had a much easier time talking to xx(x) number of strangers at work without the intent that I would get to know them or ever seeing them again. Hell, this doesn’t mean I’m cold and heartless, I can legitimately say I enjoyed meeting a lot of people and have had many good conversations. Going up to someone with the intent of forming a relationship is just very difficult for me.
In elementary school there was this kid called E. I couldn’t stand him, he drove me crazy. He was loud, rude, had poor hygiene, annoying fake laugh that was forced at everything. I never understood how he had such a following. E lived on the other side of the highway from me, and if he missed the bus he’d come to my bus stop and talk with one of his friends. This was when I truly saw who he was, without a crowd he was a completely different person, completely bearable. No need for attention, normal volume. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been so wrong it’s blown my mind.
Usually you only hear about the nice kid that was a total ass behind your back, but it does go the other way too. My reason for writing this is because of a guy named C. I worked with C for several months, and looking back now I think my mind was made up to begin with. I can truthfully say I never had a problem with him, I just thought he was someone else. He was attractive, good hair, and preppy clothes, and I just let my imagination fill in the rest. I was shocked when I saw him walking into one of my classes. I had (wrongly) assumed that people like him even went to university. I mistook him for the jock-partying type with no care for education, now I can imagine him with higher marks than I do. I saw him hanging out with average kids, no 90210 scene. In my head I automatically assume that someone is just like the company they keep. Hot guy has a hot girlfriend, but when it doesn’t go this way people assume there are other intensions. Pretty girls hangout with an unattractive one, they must be up to something. I’m not exactly like all my friends. Nigel’s the cool kid that doesn’t take anything seriously. I can’t think of anything strong that Ali and I have in common, but without reason to be together I guess that’s why these things fall apart.
I let stereotypes cloud my judgement, but even then I’d still be just judging, which is like asking myself to be wrong. In this case I was pleasantly surprised, yet pleased with the person I see him to be now. I don’t know if I’ve made it completely clear since in my head I already have all the pieces I need to arrive at my decision. Not to say that C is a loser, he’s just not the popular jock my mind made him out to be. He’s not fake, he’s not trying to be that cool kid, he’s just being himself. But how often do you see someone with looks like his, but actually lives the life that he does. I don’t know how to explain this without seeming like I’m being demeaning, since I really mean it to be the opposite. He doesn’t sit in the corner by himself, he just has his friends and doesn’t need a large following. I like him a lot more this way, even though I truly don’t know a thing about him, but maybe someone I could be friends with. You can be so wrong it’ll blow you away, and yet it really is a good thing
I really didn’t intend on going this far. At nearly 900 words it’s easy to just see this as a wall of text and continue to scroll through your feeds. If you’ve made it, I guess what I’m really trying to say is, you can judge people, but don’t let that let that be sole evidence to base your final decision on. There’s always sides and things about people you’ll never know. The face you see is most often the face they give, the one they want you to see. The face you see might not even truly be the way they represent themselves, but your mind has fixed values made up by false positives. Always be open to the things you can’t see, because they often speak louder than those that do and are much harder to find.